Intermediate Strategies in Battle Tactics
by oneofthemuses
Summary: Milady Milord hosted a Firing Squad Battle challenge in which authors signed up, were prompted, and had to complete as many fills min. of 300 words each in a two-day timeframe. I just barely 'survived' it. Check each chapter for rating and prompt!
1. Prompt 1, iknowitsbutters

**Title:** Exploration of Reproductive Potentialities  
**Prompt:** **iknowitsbutters**, The night Jeff and Annie conceive a baby [while sober] (smut)  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word Count:** 999  
**A/N:** I can't write anything short anymore. I just can't.

Annie gets home late that night, well, late for her anyway. She's a new hire for the firm and they won't let her do a whole lot. She usually manages to do all the necessary research and file paperwork within the usual 9-5 but the firm took on a high profile human rights case and everyone is putting in extra time. So she gets home and it's 9:50 and she has to be at work for 7AM tomorrow and all she wants is a hot shower and a hug before hitting the sack.

She gets in the door and when Jeff sees her, he winces. He knew she would be late and he can see the bags under her eyes and it's sort of impossible to miss the slump of her shoulders. She drops her purse and briefcase on the floor, kicks off her shoes and shuffles toward the bathroom without acknowledging him with more than a passing glance. Jeff doesn't begrudge her the lacklustre response. He understands long days at the office and since Annie doesn't usually turn to expensive scotch, something has to give and its usually her sunny disposition that goes first.

Annie enters the bathroom, blindly reaching for the light, intending to shuck her clothes and take a ten minute shower before taking up far more than her fair share of the bed. Instead, she flicks on the light and sees a hot bath, unlit candles and an old t-shirt of Jeff's sitting on the toilet waiting for her. Choking back a tear or two, Annie enjoys her husband's thoughtfulness. The truth is, Jeff isn't really a romantic but sometimes, just when she needs it most, he nails it.

She slides into bed about fifteen times more relaxed and Jeff is already there, reading a book. She curls into him and he puts down the book, kissing the top of her head. His cheek is resting against her hair when she catches his lips with her own, kissing him forcefully.

"Annie, babe, what's going on?" Jeff asks between questions, knowing that Annie is dead tired and the aggressiveness isn't normal when she's tired and knows she has to be at work early the next day.

"Jeff..." She wipes a tear away. "It's just, why do people care who marries who? Ugh! I just... We just lucked out because I'm a woman and you're a man? We're attracted to the right people, so we get to do whatever we want?" Jeff kisses her gently once more before hugging her again.

"That's why you guys are working overtime and putting in the work, babe. Because you're going to be one of the people who helps change that." He knows she knows that but she's tired and sometimes, stuff piles up, he gets that. "So, still want to have sex?" She glares at him but her lips are twitching and when she moves to straddle him, he has his answer.

She's kissing him softly, hands framing his face. She moves to his neck, nibbling at his adam's apple, and his hips twitch. Her hands slip to the edge of his shirt, pulling at it, and he lifts his arms so she can take it off. Jeff is absolutely okay with Annie taking control during sex but he really wants to touch her so he starts pulling at the t-shirt she's wearing and she acquiesces without protest. He's a little surprised to find her completely naked but he's not about to complain.

They're making out and her arms are wound around his neck, chest pressed to chest. They know every inch of each other's bodies but Annie seems to want to be as close as utterly possible and Jeff finds himself more than content with that idea. He lifts her hips slightly, one arm around her waist, and the other tugging his sweatpants and briefs down. Moments later, Annie sinks down on him and Jeff groans at the sensation. She continues kissing him, fingers fluttering around his jaw, before she rocks her hips slowly. Jeff is almost painfully hard right now but Annie is setting the pace and it's so slow Jeff feels a like his entire existence is centred on her right now.

She pushes up on her knees, before sinking down again. It's a shallow stroke and Jeff finds himself hissing in reaction to how good it feels. He still has one arm around her waist but he knows better than to try setting the pace. She's riding him slow and steady and it feels incredible. His hand drifts, slowly, from her hair down to flick at her nipple and her hips, just for a second, lose their rhythm. He does it again and she clenches around his cock. His arm around her waist loosens until he's holding her steady but just barely. He starts brushing her clit softly and she's tightening around him with every forward rock of her hips now.

Jeff disengages his mouth from hers and kisses her collarbone. Leaning further down, he licks her nipple, and then kisses his was up to her neck. He's still touching her gently but he's in no hurry for this to be over and neither is Annie. They're moving against each other but it's slow and it's soft and Jeff can admit that it's pretty fucking nice.

Annie comes and it's just as slow and wondrous as the sex was in the first place. Jeff follows a few minutes later and Annie rests against him, unmoving. Jeff is wondering if she's fallen asleep when she peeks up at him through her hair and smiles.

"Thank you." He smiles back at her.

"Made that bath pretty pointless, though, didn't it?" She slaps half-heartedly at his chest as he curls away laughing.

Three and a half months later, Annie is still working late almost every night but she smiles every time she walks in the door and she sees the ultrasound picture that Jeff hung right in her eye-line.


	2. Prompt 2, crittab

**Title:** Dealing With Trauma: Recovery and Revelations  
**Prompt:** **crittab**, After a car accident, Jeff realizes that life is too short to put off love. Angst/Fluff (smut?), Any rating.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 609  
**A/N:** I don't feel like this meets the prompt exactly but, it does on a technical level... Sorry!

He jerked the wheel, hard, to the right. Despite his best efforts, the last thing Jeff heard before losing consciousness was the deafening screech of metal on metal.

Jeff awoke confused and disoriented. Eyes still closed, he recognized the unique scent of disinfectant and human frailty from his last trip to a hospital environment during his second year at Greendale. Resisting the need for as long as possible, Jeff finally acknowledged that he would need to open his eyes. He managed to crack them open just slightly and was greeted by the unexpected sight of Annie, head pillowed on the edge of his bed, her hands wrapped around one of his. Slowly, Jeff worked his eyes further open. He was surprised, once more, to see Britta and Troy curled on a loveseat in the corner of the room. Pierce was sprawled on a cot beside them and Abed was hunched protectively around a camera in an armchair.

Forgetting that Annie was attached to the hand without an IV, Jeff attempted to scratch an itch without thinking. Annie stirred and the room was still no longer.

Two weeks later, though on crutches, Jeff was wheeled out of the hospital and deposited safely in Shirley's van to be driven home. The study group had already made some modifications to his apartment so it would be easier for him to function by himself and each had taken on an assigned day with weekends being group projects. Jeff might have found it in himself to be irritated and offended by the constant intrusions on his privacy and independence had he not realized during his two-week convalescence just how close he'd come to dying.

As it turned out, the private suite he'd woken up in had been paid for by Pierce. He would have likely done it regardless but the idea of Jeff in a coma, only two people allowed to see him during limited visiting hours, had spurred him into action immediately. Speaking of which, Jeff had been in a coma. For three days. Jeff knew he wasn't invincible but he could barely fathom the idea of dying at 34 and yet, that had very nearly been the reality.

He lowered himself onto the couch as Annie and Shirley bustled around the kitchen and Pierce went through his liquor cabinet. He glanced around, watched as Troy and Abed attempted to create a complicated pulley system intended to minimize his need for bending, before realizing that Britta was staring at him.

"Jeff, you need to talk about your trauma." Jeff stared at her, wondering idly if she meant with her, right now. Second later, she confirmed his suspicions. "I'm a licensed psych student. I'm here for you."

"Britta, you're barely licensed to drive. But I appreciate the offer. If I need to talk, I'll let someone know, okay?" She harrumphed angrily before sticking her nose in the air and moving to help Shirley and Annie in the kitchen. Jeff shook his head in exasperation but silently, he acknowledged that Britta had a point. That car accident had been a life-changing event and not just because he had lost his beloved Lexus. Two weeks in the hospital had given him time to think and his most profound realization was that life was too short to put things off. Especially not important things, like a family, like love. An hour later, they were all gone except for Annie who was taking the first shift since she had the latest start the next morning.

"Annie, can we talk? There are... There are some things that I need to say." At Annie's nod, Jeff took a deep breath.


	3. Prompt 3, crittab

**Title:** Identifying and Recognizing Pornographic Tropes in Real Life, An Introduction  
**Prompt:** **crittab**, Annie loses her necklace down the bathroom drain and, with Troy and Abed out of town, calls on Jeff to be her plumber. Any genre or rating is cool.  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 506  
**A/N:** I'm getting shorter! With my stories, that is. And I kind of wish I had written this entire thing as in an early 1990s cheesy porno genre.

Jeff knocks on the door and when Annie opens it, he smiles at her disarmingly.

"Hi there, Miss, I heard you needed a man who knew to how to use his plunger?" Annie takes in his jeans, tight white t-shirt, red toolbox, and starts laughing.

"Why am I suddenly starring in the start of a porno from the early '90s?" Jeff grins back at her.

"You mean you don't need me to lay some pipe?" She punches his arm, still laughing, before waving him inside. He stops a few feet into the apartment, letting her close the door and catch her breath before he makes eye contact and asks, casually, "So you recognize early 90's porn clichés pretty quickly, huh?" He's the one laughing as he takes in her blush. Unfortunately, even as he laughs, his curiosity is piqued.

"Can you just go get my necklace, please? I was brushing my teeth after my shower and I guess I knocked it into the sink? It was down the drain before I even moved, Jeff!" She pouts and Jeff's mind blanks for a single second as his vision narrows to nothing but her lips.

"It'll be fine, Annie, I'm sure I can get it out without any problems. I'm not exactly at Troy's skill level but I won't break anything. At least, not by accident." Throwing her a charming grin, Jeff shakes off the discomfiting wave of lust and brushes away her concerns. "Lead on, milady." He gestures for her to precede him and she walks over to the bathroom, tucking herself against the wall outside of it, pointing a finger inside, her head peeking around the corner into the bathroom.

"... Is there a giant spider in there that I don't know about?" His eyebrows raise at her strange behaviour.

"I'm not scared of spiders, Jeff!" Her tone is utterly dismissive. "But the bathroom is pretty small. I thought you might need room. I don't how this works!" He nods at her explanation but still eyes her strangely. "Where did you learn to do this anyway? I wouldn't have thought you'd be the plumbing type."

"You know, single mom who needs to work... You pick stuff up, even if you're not great at it. If you think I'm good with plumbing after this, you should see me in the kitchen." He leers at her animatedly. "Or the bedroom." She shakes her head and smiles at him.

"Don't the kitchen and bedroom require the same skill set anyway? Turn up the heat, make sure to eat everything put in front of you-" He cuts her off before he starts blushing.

"Go! Or I won't give your necklace back." He points toward the door and eyes her cautiously, though he can't stop the smile spreading across his face. She bounces away laughing, clearly knowing she got to him.

An hour and a half later, Jeff presents Annie with her necklace that requires a cleaning or two but is otherwise unharmed and accepts her offer of dinner in payment.


	4. Prompt 4, allvowels

**Title:** Special Topics in Positive Physical Interactions: Tickling  
**Prompt:** **allvowels**, Jeff and Annie get into a tickle fight. (Fluff/humor)  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 324  
**A/N:** Yay! I _can _be concise!

Jeff approached Annie, face menacing, hands out, fingers curved perfectly. She continued to back away slowly, eyes darting from side to side, but Jeff had fought beside her, had watched her in action; he knew her every move. When she made a break for it, ducking to the right, he was ready, hot on her heels. His long legs gave him the advantage and Jeff cornered her against the wall. She refused to give up without a fight but he was stronger and he _owed_ her what he was about to inflict.

"Jeff! Please! Stop!" Her shrieks were nearly deafening so close but he didn't let up.

"Never, Annie! It's the least you deserve!" She bucked and jerked against him, attempting to wiggle free even as she lost control of her limbs. Worried she would hurt herself, Jeff worked an arm around her waist and secured her against him, dragging her over to the couch, still applying his time-tested techniques with his free hand.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it won't happen again!" She was practically sobbing.

That was, of course, when the study group walked in.

"WHAT IN GOD'S NAME ARE YOU DOING TO ANNIE?" Shirley's booming voice was enough to stop Jeff short. Jeff slowly moved off of Annie, until he was sitting on the couch, one leg drawn up beside him, her feet still secured under him, hands held high in the air. Annie, chest heaving, poked her head over the side of the couch and smiled.

"Oh, I may have found Jeff taking a nap. And woken him up by tickling him. And he may have hurt himself in reaction. And he might've decided that I had to be tickled back." Annie nodded frantically as she drew in a deep breath. Shirley looked only somewhat mollified and Britta rolled her eyes but it was Troy's reaction that seemed to finally settle the group.

"A tickle war? And you didn't invite us?"


	5. Prompt 5, gretagarbo

__**Title:** Opening Pathways to Communication  
**Prompt:** **greta_garbo**,_ They don't write songs about the ones that come easy_  
**Rating:** PG, maybe PG-13  
**Word Count:** 793  
**A/N:** And back to the longer responses! A few swears words and mentions of sex, okay?

They've been dating for seven months and it's like the honeymoon phase never even existed. That is to say, they went from being friends to being in a relationship which was _exactly_ like being friends. But with sex. And that sounds awesome, in theory, except that Jeff sort of thought it would be different. He's not really a sappy guy but shouldn't there be lazy Sunday afternoons and serious discussions about the future?

Instead, there are movie marathons with Troy and Abed. Sunday dinners with Shirley. Time for just Jeff and Annie to be Jeff&Annie is minimal. Jeff isn't exactly upset but... He's kind of upset. Therapy has taught him a lot about voicing his emotions. It's a Thursday night when Annie calls him to ask if they can shift their date over to Friday that he decides it's a good time to make use of the new tools in his emotional repertoire. Very loudly. Jeff is somehow still surprised when Annie is at his door an hour later.

"Seriously, Jeff, what the hell was that about?" He's irritated that _she's_ the one who's angry with him.

"I think I was pretty clear, Annie. But what part do you need help understanding?" If his tone is slightly condescending, it's because he can't help it. _Really_.

"How about why you yelled at me for 15 minutes straight on the phone? For no reason?" Jeff actually spins around to face her, incredulous that she would dismiss his entirely valid problems with their relationship.

"For no reason? Are you fucking kidding me, Annie? _That_ is kind of the problem. We don't see things the same way in this relationship! And I don't mean that you prefer ketchup and I like barbeque sauce. I mean, what the hell are we doing?" He's angry now but there's a vague sense of relief too. He's finally getting a chance to talk about what's been bothering him. And they're in person together. And this is the most intimate and alone they've been outside of having sex in weeks!

"What are you talking about, Jeff?" Annie's voice is quiet and Jeff gets the impression that she's just now grasping that there's a problem, that there's been a problem for a little while. "I thought you were happy, I thought we both had what we wanted." Jeff sighs, deflating just a little.

"Annie, do you even realize that this is the first time we've been alone in weeks? Alone and fully clothed? You know, those first few months, we were just adjusting to being in a relationship and we wanted to reassure the group, and so I didn't notice. But then we were together for four months, and we had graduated, and it was summer, and we barely spent any time alone together. You sleep over maybe once a month, if that. We never just hang out, the two of us. I like you, Annie, I like being around you and you know I enjoy our sex life, but... What are we doing? Are we friends who have sex regularly? Because honestly, that's not what I want." Jeff's voice is a little raw, yeah, but that can be forgiven under the circumstances. When he looks, really looks, at Annie again, he's startled to see tears falling down her face.

"... I'm so sorry. I thought that was what you wanted. I mean, it's not like I'm unhappy. But you liked how easy it was with Slater. And Britta is such a no-fuss woman. Every other woman you've ever dated or slept with has barely last a week, if that. I just... I thought you were happy." Annie is crying and if a tear escapes him, it's warranted. He reaches out and drags her into his arms.

"Annie, I think it's possible that we're both still idiots. We should have talked about this earlier. If you ever want more or less from me, tell me, please. If it's something I'm not ready for, we can deal with it. If it's something I'm never going to be ready for, then I'd rather you be happy than with me." His face is turned into her hair and hers is pressed against his neck but she pushes away from him, slightly, to wind her arms around his neck and make eye contact as she responds.

"I think you're right. We need to talk more. And be clear about our expectations. And hang out, one-on-one, with our clothes on. Sometimes." She smiles up at him and he grins down at her, before leaning down to kiss her. "Why did this take seven months? Why did we make this so hard on ourselves?"

"They don't write songs about the ones that come easy, babe... So... Make up sex?"


	6. Prompt 6, butterbadger

**Title:** Studies in Alternative Sexuality: Swingers and Open Relationships  
**Prompt:** **butterbadger**, Annie and Jeff (established relationship) accidentally end up at a swingers party. They decide to stay.  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word Count:** 1444  
**A/N:** I suppose I should be glad this was my last prompt for a while! It doesn't explicitly follow the prompt and, to be fair, I don't much about swingers but... I just couldn't see Annie and Jeff actually being swingers because neither seems to share well.

It's as they're knocking on the door that Jeff thinks to ask Annie whose party it is that they're attending. Her answer is bright and bubbly, excited as she is to talk about her new friend.

"This girl in my American History class! Her name is Angela and we've been chatting in class. When I mentioned that we didn't have plans this weekend, she invited me to this party. Should be fun!" Jeff nods, pleased she's so happy, but otherwise not particularly interested in either Angela or the party. The door finally opens and a pretty young woman invites them inside with a smile, mentioning that Angela will find them in a minute. Annie turns into Jeff's arms and fists her hands in his shirt. "What do you think?"

"It's a little dark. People are talking to each other. They're drinking... Oh my god, Annie, I think we're at a party!" Annie rolls her eyes at him and flicks his chin with her finger as a reprimand. "It seems fine, Annie, from what I can tell from our dark little corner. Speaking of which... We're in a dark, little corner." His smile is a bit more of a leer as he leans down to kiss her. They're interrupted about five minutes later by someone clearing their throat delicately behind them. Annie twists in Jeff's arms, fitting her back against his chest, and he loops his arms over her shoulders.

"Annie! And this must be Jeff. I'm so glad you made it! I wasn't sure this would be your type of party but you seem to be fitting right in!" Jeff can literally feel Annie's brow furrow.

"My type of party? What do you mean?" Emotions flit quickly across Angela's face before she closes her eyes briefly. She reopens them and smiles, looking pained.

"I am _so_ sorry. I just replayed our conversation in class and... Shit. Um. Annie, Jeff, this is a swingers party." A laugh is startled out of Jeff at that. Because, seriously, he's at a swingers party? One of the few times he is completely unwilling to share his date?

"You mean, like, a party where people share partners? Sexually?" Annie's question is hesitant but Angela confirms that she has the general idea.

"Yeah, basically. I mean, couples don't have to be married... We're not exactly traditional. There are some gay couples around, too, so... Look, I'm really sorry, and if you want to leave, that's not a problem. If you want to stay and look around? You're welcome to do that too. Just knock if you come to a closed door, okay? I have to go, but I'll come check if you're still around in a bit. And Jeff, Annie? You don't... We don't make anyone do anything they don't want to do, okay? So if someone asks, just politely decline, okay?" Annie nods slowly, her smile a little bit uncomfortable as Angela walks away.

"So... That was a miss, babe. Let's get out of here, huh?" Jeff is about to start striding for the door, one hand grasping Annie's but she's not moving along with him. "Are you interested in this?" Jeff is can't help but feel blown away by the idea. It took Annie two months of them sleeping together before she was comfortable letting him know she even owned a vibrator. Jeff had thoughtfully decided to let her remain ignorant of the fact that he'd known for some time before that.

"Not exactly. I mean, I don't want to share you. But... I wouldn't mind looking around. She said we could!" Jeff presses his forehead to hers and huffs out a laugh. Annie is a student, first and foremost, and of course she wants to look around and figure out what's going on.

"Okay, babe, let's go."

They watch couples making out, they see a foursome just chatting, and bunches of people are wandering about. It really does seem like an average party but it's when they hit the second floor that the differences become more apparent. They're passing through a hallway where two or three people are clustered in front of a mirror. They stop for a second, Annie pressed back against Jeff, and realize that it's a two-way mirror and the people on the other side are having very enthusiastic sex.

"Jeff," Annie's voice is a whisper. "Should we... Should we move on?" Jeff has to bend his head to hear Annie's softly-spoken question and he's startled, yet again, to realize that she's aroused. Annie is definitely appreciating the show. With his head still bent, he kisses her neck and whispers that a good student observes an experiment through to the end. When she shivers, just the slightest tremor, Jeff kisses gently down her neck, stopping to suck at her pulse point. It's a little juvenile but leaving a hickey on Annie at a swinger's party seems like a good idea.

They watch as the couple in the room change positions, switching to doggy style, and Jeff can hear Annie's sharp intake of breath. He kisses her as his hands find her hips and fit her squarely against him, letting her feel how turned on he is. His hands brush slowly up and down her sides, just barely skimming the undersides of her breasts and down, grazing her stomach. She's pushing back against him of her own accord and Jeff is smiling, pleased that she's turned on.

"Want to take this somewhere more private? Or do you want audience too?" Jeff voice is low and right in her ear and Annie is practically mewling now. They move out of the hallway, intent on finding another room, when Angela finds them.

"Hey, you guys stayed! What do you think?" Annie, who is still pressed back-to-chest against him, answers and Jeff is impressed with the steadiness in her voice.

"It's actually really interesting. I don't think we're going to share partners anytime soon but I can understand the appeal." The interesting thing is that Annie sounds completely genuine. Her response prompts a smile from Angela.

"I'm so glad! I know it's not for everyone but there's a lot of different things that go on here... Anyway, I have to run! The hazards of being one of the organizers. Feel free to keep looking around. I'll see you in class next week!" She waves, throwing a smile over her shoulder, as she continues on her way. Four seconds later, they stumble into a room.

Jeff has Annie up against the wall within seconds and they're kissing frantically, saliva and sweat everywhere. Annie has her leg hitched up around his hip and Jeff grinds his erection against her centre, dress rucked up around her hips. If anyone is watching, it might seem tame, but it's far from that. Jeff slips a hand between her legs and pinches Annie's clit, gently, causing her hips to push against him hard and quick, an instinctive reaction.

He can feel how wet she is and he desperately wants to be in her but Annie is suddenly pushing him away. She moves them toward the bed that's in the middle of the room and pushes him down. She pulls her dress over her head, leaving her in a lacy blue bra and panties that match. She unbuttons his shirt, and leaves him bare chest exposed but shirt still technically on, before moving to work on his pants. Once she has them undone, she pushes them down, along with his brief and leans down to take a quick lick.

Knowing that anyone could be watching is strangely turning him on even more and Jeff refuses to be the only one coming in front of strangers. He props himself up and pulls Annie down onto his cock, just barely getting her panties far enough down in time. She's bouncing up and down on him when they hear a quick knock and moments later the door opens. Two couples poke their heads in, unsurprised to see them going at it, and stand and watch. Annie doesn't stop but she doesn't ramp up any theatrics either which suits Jeff just fine. The group leaves about ten minutes in and Jeff is pretty sure they're off to do the same thing he and Annie are doing right now.

She's riding him hard and he's rubbing at her clit and she's touching herself with one hand and it only takes a fraction of their usual time before they're both coming, one after the other. Annie is still sitting astride him, hands braced on his chest, when she looks at him, a slow smile blossoming across her face.

"This party _was_ fun, right?"


	7. Prompt 7, eleventhimpala

**Title:** Symptomology of Thrill-Seeking Behaviours and Activities  
**Prompt:** **eleventhimpala**, Annie and Jeff go bungee jumping.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 316  
**A/N: **Doing my best to get to 300 words and cut it off... I'm getting a late start on these, oh no!

"Why are we doing this?" It was practically a whimper and if Jeff hadn't been incredibly close to losing his cool, he would've nailed Annie with the angriest glare he had in his repertoire.

"Seriously, Annie? You're asking me that now?" He ground out the questions between clenched teeth slowly, carefully turning to look at her. "This was your stupid idea!" He refused to be softened at the terror he saw written clearly across her face.

"I know, I know! But aren't you supposed to be able to talk people into and out of anything? Why didn't you tell me what an insane idea jumping off a bridge was?" She met his eyes and if her hands hadn't been wrapped, white-knuckled, around his, she would've hit him.

"Uh, I did? I told you repeatedly. Even after we put down the deposit. But noooo! You wanted to try doing one last impulsive thing before we left Greendale and we had to go back to being responsible adults. And you didn't want to do it alone. And here we are." In his dramatic retelling of the journey to their current positions, Jeff had let go of some of his tension-filled fear. "Bungee jumping. The last resort of thrill seekers and idiots."

"Thrillseekers and idiots? Wait, which ones are we?" Annie raised an eyebrow at him, suspicious. She wasn't particularly keen on being called an idiot regardless of the circumstances.

"You're a thrillseeker. And I'm an idiot." Jeff sighed in resignation.

"I think you could've talked me out of it if you had really tried. I _was_ pretty drunk, Jeff."

"So was I, Annie. Why do you think I agreed?" Jeff stared at her disbelievingly. As if he would ever consent to this while sober and in his right mind. Unlike most idiots, he had everything to lose. His good looks. His amazing body. His resurrected career. _His Annie_.


	8. Prompt 8, mustbethursday3

**Title:** Introductory Teaching Practicum  
**Prompt:** **mustbethursday3**, The Study Group has to teach a few classes as part of 'Teaching 101' (a class that none of them remember signing up for). They're surprisingly good at it.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 854  
**A/N:** I just didn't find it feasible to make this prompt approx. 300 words, sigh.

"Did you see this e-mail? I mean, aren't we students? Did I miss that? Shiiiiit, is this teacher's college?" Annie huffed at Troy and pulled the printed e-mail from his hand.

"Troy, of course Abed saw it, he's the one that brought the printed it out for everyone else. Let's just... Figure this out, okay?" They entered the study room and found everyone else already seated.

"Oh look, Wakko, Yakko and Dot finally decided to show!" Jeff's bright smile dimmed when he saw Annie scowl. "What's up with you?"

"Apparently, someone, I don't know who, signed us up for a class where we all have to teach a one-week intensive course? Ugh! I'm already tutoring four students, I don't have time to design a curriculum that's well-rounded and interesting and-" Annie was unceremoniously cut off by the group breaking into noisy discussion.

"All of you, quiet!" Shirley's authoritative voice cut through the arguments filling the air. "Who signed us up?" One by one, they each denied it. Abed had pulled up the online course calendar on his laptop and appeared to be examining the page carefully.

"It says here that it's past the drop date. We're stuck." It was unanimous – fourth year was off to a rocky start.

**WEEK ONE**

"Hi, my name is Britta. I'll be teaching you the about the anarchist philosophy and why it's a much better way for society to function. We'll start with the basics. The government is corrupt and needs to be abolished! It abducts and tortures American citizens and people all over the world without just cause and it only leads to further harm!"

A hand rose.

"Yes?"

"What would you consider to be a just cause?"

"What?"

"You said that the government abducts and tortures people without a just cause. What's a cause that would justify the abduction and torture of people?"

"Shut up, Jeff."

**WEEK TWO**

"I'm Troy, Troy Barnes. I used to be the star football player at Riverside High. And I'll be teaching you about the game this week. I've found the best way to learn is by doing something. So I hope everyone brought their gear like I asked in the e-mail 'cause we're heading to the field!"

**WEEK THREE**

"My name is Pierce Hawthorne. I'm a former child actor, former CEO of Hawthorne Industries of the moist towelette industry and very rich. I'm also very successful speaker and entrepreneur. I'll be talking to you about how to succeed in business without really trying." A man entered the room immediately after Pierce finished his sentence, held up a piece of paper, and stood silently. "Well, it appears the name of my course and the website I started to advertise it are currently being sued for copyright infringement..."

**WEEK FOUR**

"I'm Abed. I'm supposed to be teaching you about acting and how movies are made. I decided I would make this into a behind-the-scenes documentary about being behind the scenes. It's all very meta. My assistant director, Mr. Barnes, will be handing out your roles. No take backs."

**WEEK FIVE**

"My name is Annie Edison. You can call me _Annie_. I'll be teaching you about study habits and scholastic excellence – what it is, how to achieve it, and how to avoid taking drugs in order to better your academic performance. If you take a look at the course outlines I handed out, you'll find a detailed list of readings and resources that you're welcome to peruse at your own leisure. The mandatory texts are marked at the top with a little asterisk! We'll start out simple today – please write down how you like to study on a blank sheet of paper. Make sure to include how much light you like to have, snacks, breaks, music, anything you can think of, okay? I'll give you the next ten minutes and then we'll come back together and discuss." Annie smiled brightly and stood at the front of the room, watching, as students around the room shrugged and began writing.

"Uh, miss? I forgot my pen. I usually sit beside this girl, who always has an extra for me, but-"

"Mr. Winger!"

**WEEK SIX**

"Hey. So I'm supposed to teach you how to navigate the complicated legal system. But that would mean me doing work. And I don't really enjoy that idea. So I'm going to give you two pieces of advice and then we'll call it a day, okay?" Enthusiastic nods abounded, except for, you know, Annie. "Don't get caught. And if you get caught, don't use Legal Aid. Those guys suck."

**WEEK SEVEN**

"My name is Shirley Bennett. I have been a mother for 14 years. It is not my only role. But it is the one that I consider most important to me. So I'm here to teach you all some basic parenting skills. I'm not asking that you take this class seriously but I expect you to respect me and your peers. And if you're willing, I'd like to share what I've learned in 14 years of being a mother, okay?"

Upon graduation, it was no surprise that Shirley was offered a teaching position.


	9. Prompt 9, shli1117

**Title:** Unexpected Disasters and Reactionary Grief  
**Prompt:** **shli1117**, Jeff finds out that the flight Annie was on went down. (I don't like things too sad, so let's have Annie appear at the end, revealing she had missed the flight for some reason.)  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 404  
**A/N:** Yay, sort of short?

He's got the news on in the background when the music suddenly swells and the bright lights flashing on screen catch his attention. It's breaking news: a plane went down just outside of Denver and they're still struggling to mount a search and rescue option. They're unsure if there will be any survivors and it looks gruesome. Jeff feels a faint trickle of fear, his mouth suddenly dry, as they start providing the flight details: AA348 from Boston (_that's where Annie was flying from today_). Supposed to arrive at 4:40PM (_yep, that was her ETA too_).

Jeff just barely makes it to the bathroom before he throws up everything that was ever in his stomach.

It's an hour later and he's staring at the TV screen mutely, his phone is clutched in his hand. He's received a text from Britta, a missed call from Shirley, and two from Abed. He has yet to read Britta's message or listen to his voicemail.

It's three hours later and he's staring at the screen blankly still. He hasn't moved despite the desperate knocks at the door and his phone, cell and landline, ringing every 15 minutes. He can't (_won't_) believe this is happening. He absently, distantly, hears a key turn in the lock.

"Jeff?" The voice is Annie's and some part of Jeff wonders, clinically, if hallucinations are a common symptom of shock. "Jeff, please. I just got a million worried calls and texts from the group and I haven't answered a single one because I rushed to you... Jeff." Annie is touching him now but Jeff is still pretty certain this isn't real. "Jeff, look at me." She turns his face with both of her hands. "Jeff, I'm here. I just got off a plane 45 minutes ago – I was in the air so I didn't get anyone's texts or calls until just now. I'm fine. I was bumped off of AA348 because they oversold it and I offered to go on a later flight. I am okay, I'm here."

It's like a single ray of sunshine in an otherwise bleak room. Jeff's eyes start to gain some focus and he looks at her. He takes in Annie's appearance, a little rumpled, a little fatigued, but otherwise _real and alive and here_. She's holding his face in her hands and he pulls her down to him and kisses her desperately and he finally (_finally_) believes again.


	10. Prompt 10, sinecure

**Title:** Festive Orgasms: Sex and Holiday Celebrations  
**Prompt:** **sinecure**, Jeff and Annie on a blanket in the park, watching fireworks at night. (any rating, but the higher the better!)  
**Rating:** NC-17  
**Word Count:** 536  
**A/N:** Uh, I have the word count listed incorrectly as 961 words in the prompt reply thread over at M/M, I apologize. Please note, I'm not American, so I have no idea what exactly a 4th of July celebration looks like...

They're lying on a blanket in the park in relative seclusion. It wasn't easy but they managed to stake out a little glen-like area from which to watch the fireworks. They had come early (really seriously early – like 4PM) with a picnic basket and a blanket and they'd relaxed and napped and just enjoyed the day.

They had invited the entire group but Britta and Troy wanted to watch the fireworks from the apartment rooftop and Abed was determined to get stock footage of crowds and summer scenes for future use. Pierce had declined, mentioning that he had a date with whom he planned to set off some _intimate_ fireworks with. Shirley had invited each one of them for a post-festivities barbeque so it hadn't seemed particularly terrible that they were spending the day and early evening apart. By 10PM, they would all be celebrating together once more.

As the first set of fireworks went off, Annie snuggled closer to Jeff, luxuriating in the body heat he provided. He gathered her closer, rubbing his hand up and down her arm, trying to warm her up.

"You remembered to bring runners, just in case, but you forgot a sweater?" Annie stuck out her tongue. "Mature, Annie. Very mature." Her hand, previously resting at his shoulder, walked itself, on two fingers, down his sternum.

"You want mature? I can show you _mature_. But you'll have to wait until the fireworks are over."

"It's official: America is independent!" Annie side-eyed him curiously. He leered and offered by way of explanation, "My flag was just raised."

"Eww, Jeff! Way to be gross _and_ immature!" Annie made a move to pull her hand away when Jeff grabbed it and shifted on to his side.

"You want mature instead, Annie? I can show you mature." She leaned up to kiss him. Moments later, he broke it off. "But you'll have to wait until the fireworks are over." She rolled her eyes at his self-satisfied smirk and, catching him unexpectedly, pushed him on to his back.

"If we're celebrating independence today, I don't think you get to tell me what to do." She trapped his arms, pinned between her knees and his body, while straddling his waist. She kissed him slowly before sliding lower, unbuttoning his shirt as she went. She unbuckled his belt, opening his jeans, and then stopped and looked up at him. "Time to play a one-man game of Capture the Flag." Jeff didn't have quite enough time to process the comment before Annie had licked the head of his cock, one hand inside his pants, gently squeezing his balls.

"Fuck, Annie, we're in the park..." That was Jeff's last coherent sentence. Annie, Jeff noted distantly, was giving head the exact same way she had eaten her ice cream cone earlier that day. Carefully, slowly, and she made sure not to spill a drop. Her teeth grazing the sensitive underside of his head had Jeff bucking his hips.

It was perversely fitting that as the star attraction of the fireworks show lit up the sky; a red, white, and blue flag, Jeff's eyes were wide open, pupils dilated, and he was coming hard while cheering kids drowned out his groans.


	11. Prompt 11, carly

**Title:** Debates in Good Taste: Superior Breakfast Cereals 101  
**Prompt:** **_carly_**, Annie & Jeff argue over something ridiculous - like what the best breakfast cereal is. Bonus points for Troy's input as well.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 315  
**A.N:** Yay, shorter again!

"You might be too young to remember this, Annie, but people go cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs." Annie scrunched up her face.

"It doesn't matter, Jeff! And like going crazy for something makes a good selling point! Frosted Mini-Wheats are so much better. They're the perfect balance of nutrition and indulgence!" Annie clearly believed she would win the argument based on logic alone because Troy had to give it to Jeff, Cocoa Puffs trumped Mini-Wheats, a strong cereal in their own right, every time.

"Annie, Mini-Wheats are not fun. Sure, they taste good. They're sort of healthy. But guess what? They're. Not. Fun. Which means you lose. Because Cocoa Puffs? They're _fun_."

"Being the most fun doesn't make them the winner, Jeff! Frosted Mini-Wheats come in different flavours, too – there's _variety_." Jeff merely scoffed in response. Troy decided it was time to interject, if only because they were both wrong.

"You're both wrong. Look, Annie, Jeff is right – Cocoa Puff are better than Frosted Mini-Wheats. Jeff, Cocoa Puffs aren't better then Frosted Mini-Wheats because they're more fun, they're better because they turn regular milk into chocolate milk. But it doesn't matter anyway, Froot Loops kicks both their asses."

"What?" Jeff and Annie's response came in unison.

"How do you not know this? Toucan Sam can smell Froot Loops wherever they are. He talks in Pig Latin. Seriously, guys, if you don't know what you're talking about, just ask someone who does." Shaking his head, Troy collected his cereal and moved to his recliner. He turned back to address them once more. "By the way, Annie, if Jeff is going to sleep over, you need to show him the Weekend Dress Code and the Guests' Code of Conduct. I'll let it slide this time but you know Abed wouldn't allow it." He settled in, smiling, as Annie huffed in exasperation and ushered Jeff back to her room.


	12. Prompt 12, busycybering

**Title:** Competitive Cleaning 110  
**Prompt:** **busycybering**, Troy and Annie, friendship. They try to clean the apartment. It turns into a competition. Troy starts winning.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 554  
**A/N:** Woot. Almost done all my prompts!

"Alright, Troy, it's just you and me this week. But we can have fun without Abed!" Annie's bright smile did nothing to lift Troy's sombre mood. "Right after we finish cleaning the apartment." Her mumbled words were not unexpected but Troy felt his spirits sink even lower.

"Sure, Annie. Whatever you say." She sighed at his beleaguered tone.

"C'mon, Troy! We can put on some music, divide up the chores and get things done fast and then we can... Go get ice cream!"

"Ice cream? Mint chocolate chip?" At Annie's nod, Troy finally smiled. Only a little smile, but a smile nonetheless and Annie wasn't about to quibble.

"I made a list – you take the blanketfort and the entertainment system," Annie coughed awkwardly, remembering the Batman incident, "And I'll cover the bathroom, kitchen, living room, and my bedroom. Sound good?" She watched as Troy furrowed his brow.

"Uh, Annie, that isn't a very equal split." Annie shrugged.

"It seems fair to me. Do you really want to clean more?" Her question was a shade too forced for Troy to believe she bought her own words.

"... Do you think I can't clean just because I'm a boy? Annie, that's sexist. And untrue!" Annie scoffed in response.

"Oh, please, _Britta_. It's more like I don't think you can clean because I've seen your blanketfort! It's not Abed's bed that's never made! It's not Abed's recliner that's covered in cookie crumbs!" Troy gasped in offense.

"I see now, Annie. Okay. You clean the bathroom, I'll take the kitchen. We'll each do our rooms. Whoever gets to the living room first, after we inspect whatever room they just cleaned, wins. Deal?" Annie considered it. It meant that even if Troy managed to clean faster than she did, he'd have to submit the kitchen and his room to her inspection first and she was thoroughly confident that it wouldn't meet her standards. She nodded.

"Agreed."

"Annie!" Her head popped out of her room.

"Troy, you don't have to scream, our apartment isn't that big. What is it?"

"Check the kitchen and my room, please." Annie scowled. His polite words enraged her with their smugness.

"Hmph. Fine." She walked into the blanketfort first and found both beds made, their little side table free of clutter, clothes and books tucked neatly away. The carpet, she could tell, had just been vacuumed and the walls were draped perfectly. Impressed despite herself, Annie nodded and moved toward the kitchen.

It was spotless.

Literally, spotless.

Annie looked around, brain wrinkled. The counters were clear, the floor was scrubbed, the stovetop and the fridge had both been wiped down. The dishes had been washed and put away and the ceiling, the ceiling that had formerly been speckled with purple (an experiment with Kool-Aid gone awry), blue (an experiment with Pop Rocks gone awry), and green (she hadn't realized, until then, that Flubber was a real thing), was spotless. Her lip quivered.

"I guess... I guess you win, Troy." Annie sniffed, just once. "Excuse me, would you, please? I'm still working on my room." She marched away stiffly, closing the door firmly behind her. Troy looked around, his victory feeling hollow. He fished his phone out of his pocket, looked at it, then sighed. Dialling Jeff's number, he wondered how to explain this one.


	13. Prompt 13, iknowitsbutters

**Title:** Appropriate Responses and Holiday Traditions 102  
**Prompt:** **iknowitsbutters**, At Thanksgiving dinner when everyone says what they're thankful for, Jeff blurts out that he's thankful for Annie.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 626  
**A/N:** Woot, last prompt! I say that because it's the last new prompt and sadly, because if I get any after this, I probably won't have a chance to fill them before the contest ends (it's bed time, and then work, and then the competition is over!) so... I hope you all enjoyed!

They're sitting around Shirley's dinner table (well, dinner table and a side table and another side table pushed together) for Thanksgiving when Andre carries the turkey out and Shirley comes to stand beside him, in front of her seat.

"I am so happy to celebrate today with all of my family here. Now, I know not everyone shares my faith, so I'm going to ask that we all share what we're thankful for and then a minute or two of silence for those of us who wish to offer the Good Lord thanks before we eat. Okay?" Shirley's tone had been her usual syrupy-sweet but her 'okay?' had made it clear that this was not a request but a demand that they all had to comply with. Everyone readily agreed. "I'll start! I am thankful for my friends, for my family, for my good health and my good fortune." Shirley smiled at Ben, sitting securely on Andre's lap, then turned her eyes on Andre.

"I am thankful for my wonderful kids, my amazing wife, who cooked all of this incredible food. I am thankful that even those of us who don't really deserve it," He threw a disgruntled glance at Pierce, "Have people to share this day with." Jordan, Elijah, and Pierce all spoke quickly and then went back to fighting quietly over who would get the wishbone.

"I'm thankful for Abed. And all of you guys. And Kickpuncher." Troy gave a decisive nod, doing their special handshake with Abed, and then waiting to hear his friend speak.

"I'm thankful for Troy. Obviously. And everyone at this table. I'm also thankful Cougar Town was renewed. I had prepared myself for the worst but. I'm thankful we got another season." Troy patted his shoulder soothingly as they both focused their stares on Britta.

"Uh. I'm thankful for all of you, especially you Shirley. You made all of this food for us, most of which I can't eat, but still. Thank you!" Britta stopped there, wincing.

"Oh, that's nice! You're very welcome, Britta, honey." Shirley smiled at her before raising an eyebrow at Jeff.

"I'm thankful that I ended up at Greendale. What would I have done if I hadn't met you guys?" Jeff shook his head fondly. "I'm thankful for all of our adventures. I'm thankful for my mom. I'm thankful for my Lexus. I'm thankful for Macallan's neat. I'm thankful for our friendship. I'm thankful for Annie. I'm-" Jeff stuttered over his words, realizing what he had just said, and then hoped fervently nobody had noticed. "-certain we all would've been lost without her. There's a lot to be thankful for there." He locked eyes with her, hoping she understood what he had meant, that he was thankful for her, that he would've been lost without her. She smiled softly in response.

"I'm thankful for each and every one of you. I'm thankful for Greendale, butt-flags and all. I'm thankful for Abed, who has taught me so much about being yourself. I'm thankful for Troy, who has taught me how to laugh. I'm thankful for Shirley, who has taught me what forgiveness is really about. I'm thankful for Britta who has taught me that it's okay to make mistakes, as long as you try. I'm thankful for Elijah and Jordan who reminded me what it's like to be a kid. I'm thankful for Andre who has been kind enough to share his family with us. I'm thankful for Jeff who helped me realize who I want to be." Jeff reached over and squeezed her hand under the table as Shirley cooed out a 'that's nice' under her breath.

As they all bowed their heads for a few minutes of silence, Jeff and Annie continued holding hands.


	14. Prompt 14, busycybering

**Title:** Competitive Friendship Practices 102  
**Prompt:** **busycybering**, The group has a race. Just them, short distance. Fluff! J/A! Go!  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 460  
**A/N:**I'm doing this just before work... Eek!

They're standing at the doors leading to the quad, wondering what the hell is going on. The courtyard is a mess of tables and serving staff and trucks and there are so many strangers wandering around that they're hesitant to step foot outside of the doors. Pierce makes a move forward. seeing the Dean, but Britta manages to grab his sleeve just in time to stop him.

"Jeff, what's going on?" Troy's question breaks their uneasy silence.

"For once, Troy, I mean, for the very first time ever, I don't know." Annie side-eyes him disbelievingly.

"Getting unexpectedly disbarred ring a bell?" A whisper under her breath, but Jeff catches it, and scowls at her.

"I knew what was happening, Annie. I just didn't know how. There's a difference." She makes a face back at him.

"Well, if that's your criteria for 'knowing' what's going on, then, it's pretty obvious here too." He raises an eyebrow at her challengingly. "Yeah! They're... Setting up. For something." She realizes the response leaves something lacking but it's all she's got. Thankfully, the Dean strutting around in a shirt and tie, chooses then to make an announcement.

"A thank you for attending Greendale food fair will be opening shortly! We have something for everyone, so stay tuned!" They exchange looks, surprised and pleased, wondering if they should wander over now or wait. Five minutes later, the Dean begins announcing the menu. "We took a look at our most diverse students to come up with the menu today so I hope you're all pleased! We are serving falafel," Abed smiles. "Brownies, but they're subpar," Shirley coos. "Chicken fingers," Troy whoops in satisfaction. "Vegan hamburgers," Britta smiles. "And a DIY salad bar!" Annie frowns. "Sorry, we couldn't accomodate everyone." The Dean finishes sadly but he perks up quickly, adding, "But, the first seven students here get a special prize! It involves Macallan scotch and Annie's Boobs! So come on down."

Like group-think or hive-mind, as one, they all dash toward the Dean. Annie is standing in front because she's surprisingly vicious when she needs to be. They all made it there, just barely, with Annie arriving first, Jeff's long legs getting him there next, Abed's general speed had served him well and Troy is athletic, so it worked for him. Shirley arrived ahead of Britta, who was huffing and puffing, muttering about people who smoke the special stuff being out of shape. Pierce was wheezing, and dead last, but he got there ahead of the rest of the crowd nonetheless.

"Oh, thank goodness, you made it! This fair is really for you guys but you know, I couldn't say that." The Dean leans forward conspiratorily. "Okay, so Annie, first choice - take a look at the prizes!"


	15. Prompt 15, mustbethursday3

**Title:** Adjusting to Change: Addressing Negative Reactions  
**Prompt:** **mustbethursday3**, The new seating arrangement; everyone has a problem with it, no one wants to be the first to say anything.  
**Rating:** G  
**Word Count:** 792  
**A/N:** Woo, got home from work early enough to finish some prompts!

Annie smiled at Troy but her eyes were wide, the lines of tension bracketing her mouth pronounced, and it probably didn't look quite as perky and peppy as she hoped it did. Troy caught her look and smiled back, unaware that it looked a lot more like he was grimacing. Jeff, seated on Troy's right, took note of the look and scowled. He was at the worst possible spot. Trapped between Pierce and Troy and no eye-line to Annie while Britta, Shirley and Abed all had a clear view of him, it was the worst seating arrangement they could possibly have picked.

Annie had craned her neck as surreptitiously as possible to catch a glimpse of Jeff and merely saw him scowling at nothing. She frowned. He seemed unhappy with their new seats but he had never mentioned wanting to sit beside her when they discussed potential new seats and after the fiasco that was the end of their second year, she refused to be the one to pipe up. So she had let it go because he hadn't indicated wanting to sit near anyone in particular and she figured he was finally at peace with each member of the group. Whatever. Jeff Winger wasn't her problem. Unfortunately, sitting between Troy and Britta was her problem and it sucked. She had a much deeper empathy for Shirley suddenly; watching the two of them exchange googly eyes constantly was irritating when you had nobody to share that with too.

Abed observed the entire group silently. He appreciated the position across from Jeff both for the opportunities it provided to do an intense character study and because he liked Jeff. Pierce, sitting to his left, left him bored, however. Shirley, on his right, was great, their friendship improved mightily by her increased storylines in the most recent season of the Greendale College Chronicles. Troy's position at the table was far from ideal in relation to his. He sighed soundlessly. Annie and he had been working on empathy and the group had wanted to change things up... Abed would let it play out for the good of the group.

Shirley watched Troy and Britta's gazes collide and then flit away, only to meet again. She rolled her eyes and tried to catch Jeff's attention so they could scoff at the two together. Shirley slumped into her seat already regretting the switch in seats as she observed Jeff scowl at his inability to look at Annie while Annie scowled at Troy and Britta. She had known this was a bad idea.

Britta saw Shirley's frown and wondered at it. Then Britta scowled. Shirley was probably judging her and of course, the stupid new seating arrangement, decided largely by the rich, old white dude, put Britta squarely beside Judgey McJudgerson. Britta loved Shirley. She did. But it didn't change the fact that Shirley judged her, a lot. And now, Britta was sitting beside her and there was no way to switch seats without hurting Shirley's feelings. Britta swallowed roughly and looked up. She saw Troy smile at her and automatically smiled in response.

Troy hated the seating arrangement. It seemed good, on the surface, because it was different and new and he was across from Britta, but really, he knew better. He liked Britta but she was his giant cookie. This wouldn't end well. Besides, Jeff was practically vibrating with tension – it was no good for Troy's artist soul.

Pierce surveyed the new seating arrangement and frowned. He was between Ay-bed and Jeff, who was gay but still didn't buy Hawthorne's Wet Wipes. Useless! And even sitting in Jeff's old seat, nobody was paying attention to him. He harrumphed. Whose idea was this anyway?

Jeff opened his mouth to speak, just as the Dean entered.

"Oh, what do we have here? Oh dear. You all switched seats. Oh, but this won't do... I'm really sorry, guys, but I just don't think this will work." They looked at him expectantly. "Oh, you want more of an explanation, okay. Um... Well. Jeff is the unofficial leader, right?" There were shrugs all around. "He really needs to be sitting right here, where I enter. So we can converse. About things..." He trailed off quietly.

Annie pressed her lips together tightly to keep from laughing as she nudged Britta who tapped Shirley on the arm. Shirley, hand pressed to her mouth, tugged on Abed's sleeve. He turned to look at her, smiled and refocused on the Dean. Jeff was torn. He could destroy the Dean's arguments and be stuck in this awful seat for the rest of the year or he could agree and endure the Dean touching him.

"Yeah, okay, I buy that." The relief around the table was palpable.


	16. Prompt 16, rashaka

**Title:** Science Fiction and Reality: Encountering the Unreal  
**Prompt:** **rashaka**, Have sex or die scenario! Has to be consummated, but on screen or off is up to you. =D [ratings as high as you like]  
**Rating:** PG-13  
**Word Count:** 864  
**A/N:** So I had them consummate off-screen because I was running out of time but I might expand this later. I won't lie, I sort of ripped off a really good Roswell story I read a million years ago in which Liz and Michael get kidnapped and are forced into a similar situation. I don't remember the details but it was really good!

Annie came back to consciousness suddenly, jerking slightly. She felt someone brush her hair away from her face and then cradle her head gently. The scent, as the person leaned in, was familiar and even as she felt the panic bubbling inside her, Annie knew she wasn't _alone_.

"Annie, Annie, hey. You okay?" Jeff. It was Jeff with her. She made a feeble attempt to move but didn't think she'd managed to so much as twitch. "Don't worry about moving. It's some kind of paralytic. It'll take a while longer to wear off on you." She did manage to force some kind of noise out of her throat at that. "As far as I can figure... We were both dosed but I'm a lot bigger than you and, let's face it, my body is in amazing shape." Slowly she forced her eyes open. She hoped her attempt to roll them came across. Focusing on Jeff's smile, she knew it had and his teasing remark had been purposeful.

An hour later, Annie could feel the drug wearing off to a significant degree. Jeff had talked and talked and talked, keeping her calm, explaining what he had figured out so far which hadn't been much, and basically, reminding them both that they had each other. She was sitting up, body fit against his, when she finally managed to use her voice.

"What the hell happened, Jeff?"

"I don't know, Annie. I think... Fuck, I don't know. I think we're at some kind of government facility? Nobody has been by, nothing has been said. I just woke up in here, in sweatpants and a t-shirt, and saw you." She snuggled further into his chest, needing the contact.

"They changed our clothes? Weird... How are we... Jeff, how are we going to get out of here?" If her voice wavered, she would swear under oath it was because of the drugs.

"We'll figure it out, Annie. We'll figure it out." His arms tightened around her and they sat, waiting.

The food arriving startled them into wakefulness. They had moved to the bed once Annie had felt steady enough but the waiting, the hours and hours of waiting had taken their toll, had led to them falling asleep. Moments later, they realized a man was staring at them from the window, watching them examine the food. Smiling at them, he entered the room.

"Jeff, Annie. You're awake. Good." They remained silent. "You're probably wondering why you're here. I'll tell you. Jeff, maybe you know this, maybe you don't but you're not human. Ah, I can see from the expression on your face that you don't believe me! That's okay. I don't really care. You have minimal abilities, although, if you're wondering how you managed to be a successful lawyer? You might want to give some credit to your not-so-human DNA. The sun here, it acts a neutralizer for you. Not entirely. You're more intelligent and much more charming than the average human but for the most part, we lucked out!" They're still staring, unnerved at his friendly but utterly discompassionate manner.

"Anyway. We were a little concerned when we realized that if you had offspring, their bodies would likely process sunlight differently. Making them uniquely situated to take advantage of being half-human. We had originally planned to wait until you followed the normal life course and had children, we would have merely seized them in the hospital and told you they died in childbirth, something like that. But you've been taking your time. Normally I would applaud that, having children young doesn't do anything for you, but we really need to know what your children would be capable of. So we're forcing the issue." Annie could feel the disgust rippling through her, her mind grasping the situation immediately. She could feel Jeff, body tight with tension, come to the same understanding.

"We thought about the blonde in that group you spend so much time with as you'd had a previous sexual relationship with her but you seemed to be quite close to this young lady here. And realistically, we needed someone of whose fertility we were more certain. Now, we're not monsters, so we're going to give you a chance to do this the old-fashioned way. I'm sure you're both smart enough to understand my meaning, but just in case, we've flushed your bodies of any and all potential toxins including birth control. We expect that you will have sex and conceive, on average, between the fourth and seventh unprotected copulation." He smiled. "If you want some privacy, just press that button over there and the window will be blacked out, okay?" He nodded at them agreeably and then left.

Two weeks later, they hadn't had sex but they hadn't escaped either.

Four weeks later, they had been dosed with something and when they woke up, they were naked and Annie had dried semen on her thighs.

After six weeks, they were having sex while conscious and sober, if only to be closer.

After eleven weeks, and far more than seven "copulations" the same man, Dr. Keller, confirmed delightedly that Annie was pregnant.


End file.
